Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Siriusly Speaking

She's freaky and she knows it

Justin Timberlake – Lovestoned/I Think She Knows

I’ve tried to make this not too long a post (I FAILED) because I believe there shouldn’t be that much to say when you’re, you know, gloating.
My last post might’ve alarmed some people, but I assure you, nothing was wrong. Last Wednesday the 30th of June was something of a big deal for me; no exam, no interview. Just me hanging out with friends.
Getting married in a small wedding.
Getting married in a small wedding to Sirius.
Grab a seat. This is a good story.
Those flashing lights come from everywhere

Justin Timberlake – Lovestoned/I Think She Knows

Now they’ll tell you that small weddings are impossible in Nigeria. They’re mostly right.
The average Nigerian family blossoms from a few and explodes into an army of uncles, aunts and cousins twice removed. Attempting to have a small wedding means cutting off these people and facing their wrath for life. And that’s before you talk about the friends you went to school with, the people from all the different offices you’ve worked at and so on. To attempt to try and dock all these people, you have to be something of a freak.
It helps that my wife was just as nuts as I was. She hates loud ceremonies with fawning well-wishers just as much as I do, so coming up with the plan was easy. The hard part, was selling the idea to family.
Weddings, I have found are just like Law. They’re built on precedence. There’s a known model with elements that Make Up a wedding and deviating from them in the slightest is severely Frowned Upon. 
Doing away with some elements completely causes an uproar of Biblical proportions.
The way they hit her I just stop and stare

Justin Timberlake – Lovestoned/I Think She Knows

From the beginning we had decided the wedding would be on 30th June, Sirius’ birthday. That day fell on a Wednesday. Then I had decided there wouldn’t be any groomsmen at my wedding. While we’re at it, take away any MC ideas. No one comes to a wedding to hear jokes. They come to eat cake.
About the cake. Make it Black and White.
Don’t decorate the hall.
Don’t put a high table.
Don’t even think about getting a musician. If there’s a day to fly my Geek Credibility, it’s that day. There will be music, but it will come from a 64gb iPod touch from an iPod Dock with a customized wedding playlist.
Finally. Restrict the guests to a hundred, with name cards for each table and a stone cold female bouncer at the door.
To say both families hit the roof is kind of an understatement.
I'm love stoned from everywhere and she knows

I think that she knows

Justin Timberlake – Lovestoned/I Think She Knows

Now here’s the thing. It didn’t all work out the way we planned.
No. it worked out better.
From picture perfect weather to a killer buffet that had people talking about too much food to sitting down at a table and eyeing a room full of people…and knowing everyone’s name?

Had we pulled off the perfect wedding? It sure felt like it.
I’d like to thank the elite members of Blogspot for attending my wedding. And because this is a unique, once-in-a-lifetime kind of post, we actually took a picture for you all. So,for the first time from left to right, I present CaramelD, Sirius, Freaksho, Muse and Incoherent.

Heh. Heh. 

Like I said at the beginning of this post, all I’m doing is gloating. I had the wedding I wanted to the woman I dreamed of. She’s got me lovestoned but its okay.

She knows.


mizchif said...

Our Saviour's church TBS!!!!

I see somebody is a member of my church...hmmmm...

Look at all of you!
So this is the wedding CaramelD was in Naij for.
I'm so happy for you guys.
This is awesome like.

mizchif said...

See now that i finished reading i'm getting a little misty eyed.

This is like all kinds of awesome. Really.
An iPod wedding playlist?
Both of you are crazy. Good crazy.
It really does sound like the perfect wedding.
And here we were wishing Sirius Happy Birthday on saturday like that's all she was celebrating.

Happy Married life.

doll said...

LOL@ no one comes to hear jokes, i concur..

knowng everyones name...sigh* wih i could pull off something like that

Congrats and God bless your wedding

doll said...

O! and i see its a family and friends of bloggers....

Congrats again...we want a picture with faces though

leggy said... guys got married?wow.

Afrobabe said...


The pictures were lovely...You both looked really sweet..

Wish you all the best in your married life...

Sirius, if you need someone to beat him up....Just ur back...

lol...Happy married life...

SHE said...


I'm shell shocked! Till I saw the picture, I kept thinking it was one your stunts.

Nice though. Congrats!

CaramelD said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I have nothing else to say at the moment but awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

PS I look good from the back! LMAO!!!!

PPS Awwwwwwwww you all are so cute! Stay happy OK?

Nice Anon said...

Awwwww how lovely! Congrats to you both! How sweet!

Jaycee said...

AWww...congratulations to you and Sirius. This is beautiful. The wedding you want is the best wedding you can ever have. :)

Muse said...

dude...once again, you leave me with the thought "wish i had done that". If this were a copy, i'd post it on adsoftheworld myself!

Fabulo-la said...

My gosh!

How much cuter could this be?
*tearing up*

Congratulations guys!

BBB said...

happy married life guys
am so happy for you
best wishes
and lots of love hugs laughter smiles and good tears in Jesus name amen

incoherent said...

is that what my back looks like??

what? all the good comments were already taken!

Myne Whitman said...

Like seriously? OMG! Congratulations to you both and have a great married life. Do I love this or what? Hugs to both of you...LOL

Myne Whitman said...

Like seriously? OMG! Congratulations to you both and have a great married life. Do I love this or what? Hugs to both of you...LOL

Tega said...

This is real nice...two bloggers getting married... and pulling off a private ceremony in this Naija....even better!!!

All the best in married life.

TayneMent said...

Congrats oh!!!

Rita said...


The music was amazing...every single track. When I found out that you chose them, in my mind I said, "this guy is going to love Sirius real good".

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

WoWzers!! congrats guys!!!

blogoratti said...

Nice...congratulations bro. Two blogs merging into one...woop!

Kate said...

how cute!! Congrats

T.Notes said...


isha said...

Ummm WOW. Congratulations!!! I'm happy for your two. I wish you both amazing years ahead.

Meanwhile, I'd be coming to you for ideas for your small wedding o. That bit about knowing the names of everyone at the wedding is so ... beautiful. That's something that I want. Really.

Maybe I'll have a talk of the town / large / everyone's invited engagement, and tell them nothing about the wedding. Sigh.

Enjoy husband-and-wife-ness!

mystoriesmytestimonies said...


histreasure said...

Right under this very blogsville
Beautiful, just lovely!!! wish you guys an awesome life together!!

Ginger said...

Congratulations y'all. Your happy 'backsides' have just made my day! You have made me believe again that you can have your Cake and Eat it and lick fingers.
God bless this union.

1st time here...

seye said...

Awwww congratulations! My perfect wedding idea that you stole!!!

LucidLilith said...


This post got me cracking up. I am so inspired by you right now. My baby and I come from huge catholic families. He has not even proposed yet but we are already fightin about the size of the wedding. I want vegas, he was big church/reception cookie cutter shin ding.

Congrats. My God shower your union with blessings!

ibiluv said...


beautiful said...


LG said...

congratulatns n jubilations!
wish u guys all d best'

kay9 said...

Its only fitting dat after my 2mnths exile from blogsville, my first port of call wld be a wedding. Congrats!!

(***on a side note, i wonder if its time i got married...)

olaoluwatomi said...

Congratulobia! Thou hast certainly set a precedence,blogsville who is next?:)

Freaksho said...

wow. i think everyone on blogspot left a comment. lookit me feeling popular.
thanks for all the love, guys.

miz-cynic said...

now i gotta ask, did u two know each oda before blogsvile. my answer is no....u met here. thtats my answer and like a stalker , ebven if u say no thts not it , thts my story and im sticking to

Freaksho said...

@miz-cynic - okay, let me attempt to clear this up once and for all. As romantic as it may seem, Sirius and I did not meet on blogger; we met in 2007 in what has to be the worst first time encounter ever. I did everything wrong-from hound her on facebook (back when I was on) to mob her on messenger and bug her for a movie date. Which flopped. Epic fail. But that's probably a post for another day.
So there. :)

Vera Ezimora said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!! I wanna marry a blogger, too!!!

Oya, Caramel, let us go and marry!

aeedeeaee said...

*wipes tears*

Perfect! The perfect wedding and on a weekday too...

*More tears*

Congratulations! I wish y'all happYness :)